Memory Vault Update

These are things I thought I'd put here since they're probably going to be disappearing on other sites. There are others but they kinda deserve to be deleted. There are some I have to find ( and may never find ) because they were a lot better than some that are here.

Memory Vault Vol.9 - Icy Mirror Queen

Icy mirror queen
Please you through blue
Winter gloom
Cold sweat were passion lay
Face forward
I wish I knew where I could be

Icy mirror queen
A taste is all I ask
It doesn't matter anymore
Since I'm dying in blue
You waste your dreams
On a fling with fame
Can't do nothing
Can't even stand in the way
Just bring me along though
Doesn't matter to me
I'll spend my time in your shadow
Be the scorn of many
For not being a man
It doesn't matter to me

Icy mirror queen
I don't want to be king
If I'm just your prince
I'm better off that way
Don't want anything else
But to rest on this chair
Even if a better man
Will take my place someday

Icy mirror queen
My death sings my name
And you've stopped me from
Following the trend
Would fashion ever be this cruel
If it happened to you
Icy mirror queen
Sometime I fear you'll let go
And I won't know what to do

Memory Vault Vol.8 - The Duology ( Symptoms and Sickness )

Symptoms

Current picture face
I could taste nothing
But I have the memory
I have the memory
It was fate and a damn sight
Better than what I thought it t
To be current system withdrawel
Need her running through my veins
Without stop without stop
If that's what happens
That's what happens
Current withdrawel symptoms
Dangerously low tonight
I need another taste
If I were allowed
If I were allowed
It takes time to heal
But she could peel my skin
If she wanted to
Only if she wanted to
I'd flake away and nothing
Could make me happier
In that instant of night frame
It would be my pleasure
If it could happen
If it could happen
But I would dream a solemn battle
Towards the flakes of my last breath
With her

Sickness

Her lips are paradise
And her frame will kill me
Her poison is all I want
If I feed on my sickness
I feed on my death
And the germs will grow
Towards a towering sickness
That she can both cure
And kill me at the same time
And heaven and hell
Shall bear no resemblance
To what I'll see
In that night sky tonight

Memory Vault Vol.7 - Remember Your Name

This domain does not exist
Chill setting stone still see someone
Eyes getting bleary and the cut
Wires of terms and germs
No bleed blood squeal dreaming
Infant lives and loves that belong
In lingering sense of drama
Line one line two line three
We are the mercenaries
Mutated corpse and the language too
Painted blood and the lovers too
The sky has fallen and rivers
Remember your name

Memory Vault Vol.6 - Her Murder's Ghost

Neurological patterns emerge
Like sleeping clocks
From danger's dream
Her voice is calling
Through hypnotist tone
A heart in summoning
She is lost somewhere

And my heart is gone
Fazed, frightened
Stuck in this forest
Nightime in clouds
Her eerie elliptic tone
Summoning from somewhere
But I don't know where

I was waiting
Time passed in the slip
Her murder's ghost
Reawaken the fearless dead
Tension in the air
Do I cut you?
Is that what I should do

Fading
Another memory
A life along the way
Where am I again?
This forest has changed
It looks different
Her voice is different
Is this some sort of trap?

Memory Vault Vol.5 - An Angled Degree

Cold angle illuminum
Space to find continuum
Everything passing over
Passing over to cold heart
Part playing in dream
Sand and land can understand
The sort of hallucination
For camera trickery
To play it's part

Holding up second love
Passing, passing, passing
It happens in it's cold tint
With razor miracles
It's love in an angled degree
It's cold but then what else
Can you do with it?

Memory Vault Vol.4 - Does It Burn

Does it burn, my love
Does it burn
A thousand kisses running deep
A charcoal heart in flames
Does it lend itself to the fire
Does it breathe into the night
Does it blind my eyesight

Memory Vault Vol.3 - Breathe

Your every word like ice
Your every touch like fire
Breathe for me please
I don't want to let go
Not now - not after all this time
Breathe for me please
So that I can breathe easier

Memory Vault Vol.2 - To The Operatic Eye

Midday runs
Ice flowing streams
Young girls looking older
Because of the clothes
They wear - helps pass the time
In boredom stake's
Another heart is won
And lost considering the virtue
Of time and conceived space

It helps just because of you
I'm on this tramline
Waiting for end destinations
And whole new possibilities
Stretched through time and happiness
While the frustration bubbles
Underneath the surface
But that's OK for now
Time can wait and so can I
It could be a long time before I die
So I'll wait inbetween hours
Just to notice if you notice me

But I can stay calm and cool if needs
Be it happens all the time
Now that I'm here on foreign soil
Strange new language still even
Though I learnt bits of it before
I can get through it though
Once I have enough to get through
Supermarkets then it's going well
But I'm no conversationist
Never was in my own language
Maybe I will sometime
I just don't know

Perhaps it runs a little late
I don't mind it's all the same
On time and everytime
Just delay to cancel
It never relays the message
But it happens all the same
Where the ice cracks in time
It's when the artist mimes
And nothing becomes apparent
Slowly closing over the chapter
And waiting in the wing

So where does this leave me
I reconnect in limbo
Lukewarm water all around
And feeding me insane
Intensely keen to the operatic eye
The fine line in tune
But never saying more
This is where I say goodbye
But who do I say it to

Memory Vault Vol.1 - Crystal Frost

In the oceans fading fast
Scene image of frost
Lying awake on the field
Of a dream though no one
Knows where I am
Instinct led to passion
But I'm searing cold station
Meet me tomorrow
If you can find me
Here in this dungeon

Ices can flow inside
The market of tomorrow
Knowing drama infrequency
Spread across all wings
I don't even know where
This would be
But I capture it in my mind
Just so I have something to see
But it never lasts
It never lasts

I could get caught up on technicalities
But I'd spin myself a web
I'd never get out of
I just dream inside pure station
No one ever knows what it means
And perhaps it's better that way
Open up to find the fire
And shake hands on certain deals
No one knows what it's about
But the feeling is good

In my heart you burn so bright
Catch me up to the light
So that I can fall down again
It never happens often
But when it does
It seems so magical
The moon and the stars
Sitting pretty in the sky

But deserts fill the sand
And I feel unknown to journeys
I have never been to
Here on this soil is territory
I won't claim as mine
If it feels wrong - don't do it
Better off without it

The frost will stay like crystal images
You will imagine me in ghosts
Form divide and centre line
It's made my heart in several places
If she can see the reflection
She's already there

I'm just keeping this here so I never have to think about it ever again. Or at least I hope not

well you see this is the thing, the whole thing was a complete mess.....i'd saved up a lot of my wages to go over and see her more often
Ain't nowhere but space says:
when i was boarding the flight to leipzig i was so excited i couldn't sleep - i was roughly awake for 36 hours running on sheer adrenaline
Ain't nowhere but space says:
but the whole thing that happened was that i might have came at a bad time for her, i don't know, i phoned her before i was coming to say that i would be there on the 27th and when i got there she wasn't there
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i phoned her again and after a lot of stuttering on my part about when can i see her, i say " well i'm here now " which really surprised her
Ain't nowhere but space says:
we tried to arrange one date but she didn't recognize me and i wasn't sure if it was her......i got so paranoid that i almost could have been like a stalker
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i felt so miserable i cried myself to sleep and woke at midnight ( i fell asleep at 4pm ) - we arranged another date on new years eve ( the eve of her birthday )
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i felt this was the perfect time to give her her birthday present - a ring to say as a token of friendship
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i got there no problems, and i, rather naively, thought that i could stay with her. it didn't quite work like that
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i gave her her present anyway but i didn't get to see her open it to see what it was - i had to find out the next day on the telephone which felt a little soul destroying.
Ain't nowhere but space says:
we talked for a bit - or rather we both stared at the floor while we talked and whenever she would talk i would look at her intently
Ain't nowhere but space says:
as soon as another friend of hers came in ( a guy ) for the next few hours all it would be was her and him talking in german - at this point in time i didn't know much german and i didn't know what i was to do
Ain't nowhere but space says:
the only thing that she said to me during his time there was to put on a ministry cd i had brought with me
Ain't nowhere but space says:
by the time it struck midnight we watched the fireworks which made me feel incredibly paranoid
Ain't nowhere but space says:
everyone was setting them off with striking distance of me that i felt like a war veteran jumping all over the place in fear whereas these 3 were heard to be saying " oh wow das ist wirklich schoen. so wunderbar "
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i was a bit surprised that they were going to some other party and that i had to look for another hotel. she just pointed to the nearest hotel whereas her and her two friends walked off leaving me to walk rather afraid that one of the little kids were going to throw a banger that would blow in front of my face
Pj says:
doesnt sound like a dream date
Ain't nowhere but space says:
it wasn't - but i was so in love with her that i just didn't see through it at the time
Ain't nowhere but space says:
the hotel was booked out anyway leaving me to get the receptionist to call for a taxi which duly arrives - and given that my german at the time was extremely limited and the taxi driver's english was even more limited - it made for a hellish experience
Ain't nowhere but space says:
not least the little bastard kids deciding to throw bangers under the car and all i can think is " don't fucking explode right now - please don't fucking explode "
Ain't nowhere but space says:
anyway after a bit of indecision i decide to go back to the place i was staying because i just wanted to be somewhere where i could feel somewhat safe
Ain't nowhere but space says:
in the following weeks any time i tried to call her she was either out or had work to do
Ain't nowhere but space says:
there was a time where i got one girl to book a table at a restaurant only to cancel it minutes later because when i rang jette she said she was too tired to go anywhere
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i tried to say that i would come over if it would make her feel better but she just wanted to go to sleep. i felt so terrible having to get the girl to cancel the reservation for me
Ain't nowhere but space says:
all i could have the energy to do was to listen to jacques brel's ne me quitte pas - quite an appropriate song really with the way i was feeling
Ain't nowhere but space says:
and i was playing that on repeat
Pj says:
ouch, that doesnt sound fun at all
Pj says:
sorry, but what a bitch
Ain't nowhere but space says:
looking back on it now i can agree with you - but back then i would have defended her to the end
Ain't nowhere but space says:
here i am listening to a song that pretty much said that he loved this girl so much that he would continue to dig her grave even after his death and in a way that was how i felt
Ain't nowhere but space says:
but there's more to the story
Ain't nowhere but space says:
by this time i was in a hostel getting by each day doing what morgan spurlock does in supersize me......apart from the odd day when i would eat pasta
Ain't nowhere but space says:
there was one time where i would ring her on another failed attempt to have some sort of interaction with her and when i would listen to her talk, i started to feel like my soul was being sucked out from underneath me
Ain't nowhere but space says:
and i would sound like a six year old child - my voice was unusually high. when the conversation would end and i would hang up the phone i would just burst into tears
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i think i reached cracking point when anybody remotely resembling her i would just start running to see if it was really her and i guess i was on the brink of madness......running to find out that while it looked like her you'd look and say " no she's a bit smaller than jette "
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i just decided to make a break for it and phoned another friend of mine to see if i could see her - which she was really fine with - she said she would meet me at the train station
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i did say that before i went i just wanted to see if i could see jette just one more time before i went.....which proved to be yet again another unmitigated disaster
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i just gave up hope and took the train from leipzig to oldenburg and when i got there the girl arrived and drove me to her house and i was allowed to have her room while she would sleep somewhere else which i was really grateful for
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i still had problems sleeping though - each night i would wake up at 2 or 3 am and turn on some tv show that would show strippers - i felt that completely useless that i would watch anything just for a bit of human interaction
Ain't nowhere but space says:
but during my short stay with ina ( the good girl ) i perhaps loosened up a little bit but she did say to me that i looked very troubled
Ain't nowhere but space says:
and what was great was that she drove to hamburg were we met loo-z ( claudia ) and went to a goth disco where i had a great time ( until i ate dodgy pizza )
Ain't nowhere but space says:
afterwards i went to eindhoven, ran out of money, came home, tried to email jette again but by that stage i could see from her replies that she just couldn't give a shit about me
Ain't nowhere but space says:
and so concludes a soul destroying adventure brought to you courtesy of david s murphy in co-operation with ryanair
Pj says:
ack, thats horrible
Ain't nowhere but space says:
aye
Ain't nowhere but space says:
i've never quite told it in so much detail as i have right now
Ain't nowhere but space says:
still if anything the amount of cds i brought back from there was incredible - dirt cheap too but that was the only positive
Ain't nowhere but space says:
so any other comments?
Pj says:
i just can't believe she led you on like that
Pj says:
really kind of baffling to me
Ain't nowhere but space says:
what can i say - i'm a fool for love
Pj says:
and she is a bitch!
Ain't nowhere but space says:
she really was a bitch

Песня Влюбленности

Оно ломает мое сердце. Сломать врозь ложь. Как все смотрит более симпатичным. Оно все, котор я всегда хотел и все я всегда мечтал. Примите мое место и примите мое сердце и сыграйте нас все в этап центра. Сделайте нас мечт новой жизни кладет ее к счастливому взгляд вполне наслаждений. всех, моя влюбленность, я хочу все из этого для вас. Потому что я люблю вас

En Dat Kunnen Allen

U voelt bijna als een ontbrekend genie in een pak. Een nieuwe vorm van chloroform om achter u op zijn plaats te zetten. De dode dromen vinden plaats en u voelt als het godverdomme rond als een adelaars oog prik. En dat kunnen allen u doen. En dat allen kunnen zij zeggen. Houd de band tegen. En let op het opnieuw voor genoegen

Unsterben Selbstmord

Ich glauben, also enteigneten in Ihnen, es ist fast wie ein bestimmtes Verbrechen, um zu lieben, zu hassen, wie ein paralyzed Opfer, unter Ihre Augen zu glauben, ist dieses was sie bedeuten, indem das Verlieben? Ich weiß nie, was der Grund jetzt, daß ich ein anderes Mädchen gefunden habe, aber noch Entdeckung selbst ist und zu gequälten Träumen, Sie aufwacht, töten mich in meinem Schlaf und verbritten Gerüchte in meinem Gehirn, OH-, wenn nur dieses unten sterben würde, aber ich weiß, daß es nie sein kann, der Wunsch, zum nach zu sterben und unsterben Liebe, diese geben, ist die Welt, die gelassen wird, A die neue Abbildung, die durch Selbstmord hindurchgeführt wird

That could be the true in many respects

Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

Take a note of that now. It's important

WHITES are motivated by PEACE, seek independence
and require kindness. They resist
confrontation at all costs. (Feeling good is
more important than being good.) They are
typically quiet by nature, they process
things very deeply and objectively, and they
are by far the best listeners of all the
colors. They respect people who are kind, but
recoil from perceived hostility or verbal
battle.
WHITES need their quiet independence and refuse to
be controlled by others. WHITES want to do
things their own way, in their own time. They
ask little of others, and resent others
demanding much of them. WHITES are much
stronger than people think because they dont
reveal their feelings. WHITES are kind,
non-discriminate, patient and can be
indecisive, timid, and silently stubborn.
When you deal with a WHITE, be kind, accept
(and support) their individuality, and look
for nonverbal clues to their feelings.

What Color Are You?
brought to you by

Played images to your host and keeping station to the underworld of contempt. Your not here as a spy anymore, you're there as a lover in the past tense