Francophile for the ladies

There's this guy who would always speak French to a girl so that he could get her into his bed. It would always be " Pardon moi, une jolie madamoiselle, aimiez-vous un rendez-vous en Champs Elyssés avec moi " or the classic sleazy line " Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir." It always worked providing they were not French of course. In that case it was a slap in the face for the second question ( " Zut alors madamoiselle, c'est fantastique. Encore, encore! ") or for the second one or being generally laughed at by these wonderful French girls followed by " Ce n'est pas possible, monsieur. C'est trop cher aller au Champs Elyssés. Mais, si vous me payez, ce sera possible pour moi aller au Champs Elyssés." And with this he gleefully accepted and took the train to where the Champs Elyssés was. And then asked the second question only to get a slap in the face before she demanded the money to go home which dejectedly he gave since he couldn't say " Non." So now he is left there alone looking for a job in France and hoping that he can woo a French girl without the second question and wondering if he can ever make it back home.

Act responsible for once you bastard

It's a red letter day. With the woman in black back on my case. Get away today while the words just come out all wrong. You painless backstabber, sucking my soul like a can of Pepsi through a straw. It's been real worthwhile to get away and now you're back today. A cryptic note deceiver receiver to mate belate my promises to correspond with a dream I once had. Oh happy days, it's always so nice that even the TV is stripping off it's clothes for you. I make sure I watch late at night when I can't sleep. The late Reverend Barry White fills his dried out lungs to croak the gospel of love......or in this case perhaps it's necrophilia. I'm sure his fans understand - Barry don't mind at all the cravings of sick and twisted half dead women. " Anything for a lady!"

Got your number 118. Got your number 118. Speak of the devil we are being inundated with calls of masochistic young girls who are being treated like slabs of meat by horny young boys. Why call us when you could dump the bastard, some of these crazed loons actually want to dump on their repressive boyfriends. They only have to take a look at soft-core horror flick Prozzie to know that they can kill them but you'd have to be careful you know. Maybe book a trip on a boat or something and then pack the carcass in the suitcase and when on the boat at 3 am just throw it overboard and make a lovely new life in Phuket or some gorgeously expensive destination that no one has heard of until the tabloids get their greasy hands on it

Oh but the depravity, I hear you scream, surely that's not the answer. Well when you live a life in the house you're bound to think up of some crazy things to do and why not when your boyfriend is a creation of hell made all the more intolerable that all rules are his rules and nothing else. You're bound to kill someone at some stage.

I'll have a dry martini on the rocks, shaken and stirred Mr. Bond, and I'll have none of your shenanigans - we're here to destroy the Emperor not to have kinky sex with the Emperess while trying out her clothes. Act responsible for once you bastard

A madman speaks to you - this is his vote catcher

A positive influx begins a benign force. And the dictator stands with his eyes on the prize while we tunnel through his lies. Charismatic driven force gone born again pleading bleeding through his white-heart sleeve. A lip-sync start and off hand camera cue blue and red the danger dead but a parasite gone paralytic - just exactly who do you know who knows the score. Become a seizure in the frost when everything is lost and identikit clones feel free to use the same sense of broken language I've built up over the years. A source of entity - a sort of identity if you will to please the morons that are chomping at my back. Those god damn limeys have me real pissed tonight. But that's not the only score that I have to settle in this god damn piece of piss. Now see here I know my way round here and I have a god damn right not to feel more than a little pissed off about how this whole world works. Now y'all just ramble along like headless chickens in a Chinese restaurant factory and I'll march on down to the Kingdom of Death belies blood on the toothless dragons slaying all the stoners and potheads because they ain't got no dope no more and I damn well know why. Spirituality of Dianetics my left testicle. Those swindlers are ungodly and my own ego is better than theirs combined. Full of meat to make a vegetarian verge on the pyschopathic and I know a let a few of them loose but I didn't know their heads had a couple of screws loose. Damn atheists, damn them all. They should worship the Lord above with my TEN COMMANDMENTS. But all they do is worship the number 666 and to infinity and beyond. Those motherfuckers don't know the truth. Even the whiff of the number 6 and it's enough to make them go for mass orgies of all sorts and worshipping the devil. I shall cleanse the world and rid people of this awful filth. I watch these streets like a hawk and I monitor every perversion as an ungodly sin that should be forbidden.

( More of his beliefs to be followed after the very long commercial break after which time somebody will have shot him and the whole world really cares )

From Her to Eternity

You are Nick Cave.

Which music god are you?
brought to you by

Is this going to work - if so amazing guy

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The man who can't play a note to save his life

You are Fletch! You seem to be the more reserved
person. You are usually off to the side of your
group of friends, maybe its because your
insecure, but when it comes down to it you
really pull through! Oh... and try to work on
the horse problem...

Which Member Of Depeche Mode Are You?
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It's true I suppose

It Doesn't Matter Two--pessamistic and a little sad, you know what you
have won't last

Which Depeche Mode song are you?
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Great song

Shake the Disease - No one understands you as well
as Depeche Mode...

Which'>http://quizilla.com/users/SueKMFDM/quizzes/Which%20is%20your%20Depeche%20Mode%20song%3F/">Which is your Depeche Mode song?
brought to you by posted by Plastic Retriever at 7:47 am 0 comments

Monday, March 07, 2005

Er yeah I don't know what happened there

You'll have to excuse me on that part

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Hahahahahaha

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

PLASTIC RETRIEVER CONTAINS EXPLICIT LYRICS

Sometimes my humour is

black emerald is poisonous! Induce vomitting if ingested.

N POISON

Will you work

You Are From Neptune

http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/neptune.jpg">%20/>You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.If you don' > <><>< <>What'>http://www.blogthings.com/planetquiz.html">What Planet Are You From?

Beautiful

Can I post here? Sorry it's been a while and all but you know you run out of steam from time to time

Will you work

You Are From Neptune

http://www.quizdiva.net/bt/neptune.jpg">%20/>You are dreamy and mystical, with a natural psychic ability.You love music, poetry, dance, and (most of all) the open sea.Your soul is filled with possibilities, and your heart overflows with compassion.You can be in a room full of friendly people and feel all alone.If you don' > <><>< <>What'>http://www.blogthings.com/planetquiz.html">What Planet Are You From? About Me Name: Plastic Retriever Location: Dublin, Ireland Not much to say really View my complete profile Previous Posts Synthesise To Fetishise The Triangle Closes In Killer's Instinct A River Of Our Tears On The Edge With Dreams How Many Lives Does That Kill Inside? Bring Us Back To Life Thought I was rather different but I'm just like a... Bring A Sad Smile Fail In The Guidelines Archives January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 October 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009