Your Dark Philosophies

Find the feelings getting lost in you. I hoped you understood but you just didn't want to be a part of me. Your dark philosophies make me despair. I wondered why I ever thought you could love me and I could love you. But I'm always wrong amn't I? I just want something to be part of my own. I want something I can call my own. It's not to be someone's possession but I know I make it sound like that. Your dark philosophies make me despair. I cry when you hurt me. You make me feel so miserable at times. You're so cold you don't know how you hurt me. But I can see it in your eyes. Always looking for signs. Signs of I don't know what but just something to give me a chance to believe in something. Or someone. I don't know it just isn't there anymore that's all I know. Your dark philosophies make me despair. How can you live like that? How can you be so cruel and cold and calculating. I don't know how anybody can truly understand you least of all yourself. I'm sure I have a lot to give someone, a certain special someone, my love if they are willing to receive it. But you are not. Just like the other failures. Just like every other rejection. But it will be there again. Still there. Somewhere. Your dark philosophies make me despair. I don't know how you live the way you do. Cold and calculating - there's just no passion in you. Your dark philosophies make me despair. If I were any weaker, I'd kill myself.