This one goes out to Chris Martin - a special dedication

In the international faith of badwill would everybody please stop bleating on about the Crazy Frog jokes. You're not funny, you're a bunch of stupid fuckheads getting irritated by a cartoon frog designed for children. Now jokes are all very well and good but if you're making a joke out of something like this then the joke is on YOU. This means nothing to meeeeeee. This means nothing to meeeeeeeee. Ohhhhhhh you wankerrrrrrrrsss

Speed of Sound. It's amazing how people get so hyped about a rip-off of Clocks. Like this? Wanna try on new and amazing identikits that look and sound the same? Feel free to try our new shit on a stick range including stick on a shit and the mesmerizing shit stick on a stick. You'll be lapping it up before Bob has become your dead uncle.

Before we bow out - this next one is dedicated to Chris who's one crazy motherfucker who just can't let a cartoon frog out of his head. Imagine Chris singing this - it would be a smash hit if he could get his head out of his arse

I try so hard to write this shit
So that I can get a number one hit
I try, I try, I don't succeed
To get this one - my number one feed

And all the time this stupid frog
Puts another wheel in my cog
And all the time this stupid frog
Puts another wheel in my cog
And all the time this stupid frog
Puts another wheel in my cog

And if you knew baby
How I hate it now
And if you knew baby
How I hate it now
And if you knew baby
How I hate it now

Oh baby baby let me say
How I love all the people
Who laugh at my jokes
Even though they're not worth much
Oh baby baby let me say
I get to love my Gwynnie so fuck you
And then you know that I love a moan
And then you know that I love a moan
And then you know that I love a moan