Scene Between Ex Lovers Returning

I'm impressed with you. You hardly seem to have the will to go out with many people. You don't seem so interested in sex. You don't want anything to do with anyone. It's only when you started getting interested in someone did I decide that i had to act. And act decisively. So what did you do between the years?

*face down looking at the table* What's there to know? I've been in relationships but they've never really went anywhere. I never really felt the need to do things for the convenience of others. Besides I could never talk about sex with you. You never let me. I would listen to you talk about these men you'd love to be in bed with but I could never say anything.

That's not true. You just never said anything.

Because any time I did, you'd put me back in place. I was a caged animal. That's how you liked everything. There's only so many times a pet gerbil can run on that wheel without dying of exhaustion at some stage. You exhausted my love for you. I could never say anything. Just be the quiet boy who does what he's told and if he's lucky, he might get a little treat.

But you liked that didn't you? It was all part of the act!

The act, the act. It's always a fucking act. We're always actors playing out some lines that some fucker has written down for us. Or I act this way, or I act that way. How could I love you? How could I really love you? I was just an experiment for you. You really wanted me to go insane. To wind up on anti-depressants. To be this close *puts thumb and finger together* to a mental home. I nearly hung myself in a hotel room.

*eyes down at the table* I'm sorry.....I didn't know......I tried giving you hints that I just wasn't into you that much. I could never understand your paranoia, the panic attacks you would have. Hell I felt boxed in as well. You acted like a complete jerk sometimes. How was I supposed to tell you, you would react furiously. You never took things well.

You know why that is.....because hints don't work. You should have said something. Instead of insult me when I made an honest criticism. Let's be honest with each other meant let's insult the fuck out of each other.

So how's your sex life then?

Non existent - I really hate when people ask that question. Who cares about it? It's like we all want to picture our own secret porno.......anyway, I've never really had much interest after you decided to disappear. If I did have it, I'd hate it because of the smiles on their faces. The same smile that you would use any time you would deceive me. I know they were faking it. I wouldn't believe the bullshit they'd tell me. Of course they're happy - everybody is in this selfish world. They get what they want, they're happy. But it's not what I want. But try telling that to anyone else and they go crying to any man who willingly use them for what they want. *looks out the window*

You're really bitter. I could never understand you.

*looks in her eyes before quickly facing the table* Tell me something I don't know. Nobody has, too shy, too bitter, too crazy - who the fuck cares? Everybody's only interested in themselves, it's how people go far in this world. Anyway why did you come back to torment me.

Well I came here for the money obviously. I wanted to see how you were but obviously you still hold extreme bitterness over what I did. What I did, I did for your own good? Yes I humiliated you, yes I destroyed everything you held sacred, everything you believed in, because you were so naive. So clueless as to how to make it in this world and so fucking ambitionless. I want to climb the fucking ladder and all you care about is seeing what fucking colour the clouds in the sky are. You're so fucking full of shit.

*defeatist* Yeah okay, so I wasn't perfect. I believed in something that wasn't there......I wasn't motivated enough for your standards. I just wanted you and nothing else. The madness of it all. But why is it that when I feel like I'm progressing and that I'm moving on, you come back to haunt me.

*evil smile* Because I love fucking with your mind. I've never found such a beautiful brain that could be corrupted so easily. That's why I miss you. No other gave me such pleasure. I never wanted to see you naked, I just wanted to see how I could destroy you. The fact that I can still destroy you after all these years gives me an enormous sense of pleasure. *looks at the time on her mobile* Whooo looks like I better be off. *looks at guy slumped in his chair and smiles* Cheer up, you know you love this as much as I do. Bye * walks out*

*frail* Waitress? I'd like another Coke please. And a chicken caesar bagel, I feel like I'm going to need it