Always Looking

I keep looking at pictures, looking for a sign of any lasting damage. It's all in my head, it's worth nothing instead. I decimate every pixel to the nth degree. I focus on her eyes to see if there's any betrayal within the spaces she leaves. The trail has gotten longer and I don't have the heart to walk back. I'll make a new direction for myself and leave it there. I sit here and study her. I've become invisible so that my traces cannot be seen. If I circle any nearer, the presence will be uncomfortable.

If I remember correctly, she's almost become like a waking dream for me. I have nothing to work against. And how I make my next move away is the one thing that will be on my mind as I treat everyone around me like a psychiatrist. It's not something I willingly want to do, it just frequently gets that way for me. I guess it all equates to the same thing for me. Give me Prozac or give me love - there's no difference between the two, they both leave you violent if everything goes wrong.

When I wake and when I sleep, the illusions become mere shades. The only thing anybody wants to do is whitewash everything so to keep up with appearances. Her pictures, so flawlessly professional for someone to be considered an amateur. I'd fall to my knees and offer her contracts that she would refuse to sign. Once in a black list, always in a black list. Wear me down. But she does it so thoughtfully and sincerely. All in her own interests but with a humane touch. Makes the pain go sweeter but destroys you nonetheless

Je ne comprends pas. Je ne te comprends pas. C'est d'accord. Mais je souhaite l'amour avec toi était possible. Avec tendresse, consideration et tous émotions je peux penser á. Mais ce n'est pas etre. Trop mal. Trop mal. Trop mal. Toujours gardez les pics de toi. T'es trés belle. T'es toujours trés belle.

Every Three Way Division

Every three way division and it keeps mounting up. No matter which way I turn, everyone else is happy. I don't know if I am. Perhaps I would be but it still leaves me cold. Her smile means everything and she's got an advantage in height. It only matters inbetween. Indecision ruins a forthcoming judgement.

Every three way division needs a new decision. Which way is the right way. I'd hang across the walls to get inside her mind. Learn three languages. Burn a thousand identities all living unseen in the waking world. She makes me feel like a weekend project in need of redevelopment. But it's not the only promise that's willing to be broken.

Every three way division makes me nervous. I do not deceive but her nervous imagination rubs off on me. It makes poison out of wine. A parnoid look is all it takes. For all that it's worth, I think I should recheck my options before putting another step forward just in case I don't fall through the cracks like I usually do.

Every three way division and it keeps on mounting up. The more I see her, the more she smiles. The more warmth I feel even when I feel lousy. Every step closer I'm wishing for ideal scenarios that I can respond to. But that's a foolish way of looking into things that aren't there. I would have played things differently if I knew just how to do it. I want to make her mine. I don't care about the differences that there are. I just have to get my timing right.

A Ticket In My Hand

Every dusk and dawn. An inward view with nothing left to say. I still think of you but I feel the worthlessness of it all. You make me jealous of your holidays. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. But you won't have that.

You've been avoiding me. You tell me lies. But I believe them because of you. You make me want to dance up the alley with no care in the world. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. I ain't lying when I say you make me jealous.

Just tell me what's the problem once it ain't me. And where you'll jet off to next. I'd keep following but I know that some day you'll fence me off and I can't look through. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. Wish I had a ticket in my hand just to look at foreign land with you. And fall in love with you.

Tout va bien

Salut! Ca va? Ca va bien merci et toi. Bien, bien. J'espére tout va bien pour toi. Je suis trés nerveux. Tu ne parles jamais de moi. Je suis triste parce que je tombe dans le panneau c'est ton amour. Je t'adore mais je ne prends pas dans considération les mauvaises erreurs je fais. Mais je ne fais pas mériter ceci. Je ne fais pas, heh, que semble presque comme votre nom. Je te desire, je t'adore, je t'aime mais tu ne fais pas. Il me donne la tristesse. Tu es incroyable. Je te voudrais mais ce n'est pas possible.

Cut Up Dead Dolls

Denote change. Incapabilities. Destroy the window of the past. Keep looking through the looking glass. Multiple facets emerge. Dreams slowly destroy this humanity. All life spills out on a TV screen. Looking for a minute to change your mind. It's all anyone ever tries to do. Keep this protection so that it softens the blow.

Numb in neutral. Question the answer that was given. Almost like a child. You never forced me. I was just happy to be considered. Take the picture. Photograph these surroundings. Like cut up dead dolls. Do you understand my point of view? Where's the flame that leads to a fire? No smoke without water.

Automatic precision guard. Are you human? What existence is detrimental and who takes charge? How's the weather keeping? My words keep repeating on a loop. I'm supposed to care. That's what these words are supposed to do. An intolerant fascination. You give a blow by blow account in total silence.

Do you still look back? Are your emotions all dried up just like mine? Should we just cease to communicate? Not that anyone ever communicates. It's a rather good illusion. Who was the magician that night as I've forgotten his name? I always thought of you as a comedian. Never fail to make me laugh.

Where's your spine? Did I damage it, like everything else? I'm sorry I haven't disappeared yet like The Invisible Man. Takes too long to wipe out memory. And you were the sweeter of the two. If I could, would you come home with me? Just to kill me all over again? That really would be the sweetest thing you'd ever done for me.

Stop The Resistance

I try to camouflage everything and make it look like everything is invisible. Dreams do not disturb me. That you will never hurt me. Red strikes sink without trace. And I'm just eyes in a hidden face. Nothing to distinguish but all this hopeless anguish. Every photo a winning smile. If it makes me get a little bit closer.

Reveal a second face, blur the lines of whatever reality I'm living in. It's got nothing to do with you, me or us. It's just another minute gone by. And I don't care about you. But of course I'm lying. Every minute that I talk to you, we act like politicians. Would it matter to us how compromised we are or do we stick to our guns through thick and thin? What would it take to get the right result?

I try to return to the old clothes but it doesn't work that way.......once again everything changes just slightly by chance. And I know that I'm too constant. Let's just give in and stop the resistance. I'll go against every word I've ever spoken just to be with you. But I guess you move on and I have not.